Introducing: Mac and Me (1988)

It seems that I have been in the mood lately to rewatch movies that I grew up with. So upon browsing through the greatness that is Netflix Instant Stream, I find this little gem. If anyone is interested in watching a 99 minute commercial that seems mysteriously like the movie E.T., then Mac and Me is the movie for you. Or if you’d rather spend that hour and a half working on a dance routine for your next McDonalds birthday party, I’m providing you with only the important highlights of the film. Call it the Clif-Notes for Mac and Me.

Streaming on: Netflix

Directed by: Stewart Raffill

Starring: Jade Calegory, Jonathan Ward, Christine Ebersole

Tagline: Out of this World and in to your Heart

Rated: PG

Blatant Product Placement: 8 (give or take several)

A family of aliens are accidentally sucked up from their unknown planet by an US Spacecraft and brought back to Earth. Once returning to Earth, nosy scientists and government officials let the aliens escape from the craft and they are immediately separated from the youngest member of the family, Mac. Mac, which stands for “Mysterious Alien Creature” and ironically is never really mentioned in the movie, but nevertheless finds himself stowing away in a Volkswagen van on its way to California. The van is occupied by a young wheelchair bound boy named Eric and his family consisting of brother and mother. Eric befriends Mac after a number of antics from the young alien that get the boy in trouble and together they go on an adventure to find Mac’s lost family.

Would you would be Missing:

  • Probably the ugliest looking alien you have ever seen.
  • Even the alien husband is getting bitched out by the wife. Males can’t buy a break, even in space. And why does the dad alien look like Dick Van Patten?
  • Man those NASA spacecrafts sure do have some great vacuum suction, just ask that family of aliens. I wonder if it’s a Dyson?
  • The spacecraft is giving birth!
  • Would someone please get those aliens some clothes? Those bodies are disturbing!
  • Alien baby is free! Oops damn, electrical fences…oops, damn cars…damn windshields…SPLAT!!
  • Have you ever wondered what an alien would look like flattened up against your windshield? True laugh out loud moment!
  • Great, move to a new neighborhood and the first person you’re greeted with is a nature-loving hippie.
  • Aliens don’t make for a good doorstop.
  • Snorks!!
  • Blatant product placement: Skittles, Otter Pops, United Van Lines
  • Wow congrats to the boy’s stunt double! That was quite a fall. Only a dummy would do that.
  • An alien’s version of Extreme Home Makeover
  • Blatant product placement: McDonald’s, Coca~Cola, Valvoline
  • If Pat Morita and Mini-Me ever crossed their DNA, they would get this baby alien.
  • The stunt dummy makes an appearance again, this time on the back of a vacuum.
  • Who knew that aliens could read?
  • Alright, who’s going to get the kid in he wheelchair back up that large hill?
  • Very smart, no one will ever notice the moving and sputtering teddy bear with the blinking eyes. Nice disguise.
  • Blatant product placement: McDonald’s – complete with a birthday party. I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure McDonald’s birthday parties don’t all break out into badly choreographed dance numbers. – I’ll forget that I just saw uniformed football players dancing – Oh hell no…we now have a dancing “teddy”.
  • Good lord, how long do those shriveled up arms stretch anyway and since when did Mac earn the power of flight?
  • This movie has to have a record number of near miss car wrecks and run overs.
  • Blatant Product Placement: Sears
  • Ahhh…now I get it! Valvoline oil advertisement, horses, daisies to represent windmills…it’s all coming together! Whatever, who the hell am I kidding?
  • How convenient that the tracks leading into the mine are just right for a wheelchair to travel on.
  • There is a lot of sucking things in this movie: spacecraft sucking up family…alien sucking soda through a straw…alien being sucked up by vacuum…aliens sucking in air through their “O’ faced mouth…this movie in general…yep a lot of sucking.
  • And you thought the peopleofwalmart.com site had some interesting characters. Nice to see that aliens can get some shopping done at the grocery store.
  • Mac seems to have some problems staying a consistent size throughout the movie. What was once a giant dancing bear is once again a small baby alien.
  • Damn that stunt dummy had gotten a lot of work in this film and I would argue probably some of the best acting as well.
  • Alien bad touch! Alien bad touch! Where’s Happy Bear when you need him?
  • Sure, the aliens bring the boy back to life. The least that they could do would be to allow him to walk too.
  • Damn, is it really that easy for aliens to become citizens of the United States? Okay so, I wished the aliens would have put clothes on – well I apologize, they look even creepier with them.
  • And with the last scene of the movie, a dumb movie just got really, really stupid – There was a reason why E.T. was sent back home.
  • We’ll be back?
  • Ronald McDonald as himself in the credits.

Quotable Quotes:

“Do you think it was a drunk?” – “It was probably an ADUI.” – “What’s that?” – “An Alien Driving Under the Influence”

“Your mother tells me that you’ve been seeing some…things”

“Those kids…those kids just ran off with a…” – “…creature from outer space?”

“Just keep him dancing and they’ll just think it’s a teddy”

“That’s right, that’s right. Be the mommy, be the mommy.”

Don’t think for one second that I would let anyone get away without seeing this dance number fit for any youngster’s birthday party.

Based on the fact that I was duped as a youngster to want to see this movie because of the resemblance to one of my most beloved film, E.T., growing up, this film is unforgivable. I wish there was more substance to Mac and Me because I really wanted to like it and hoped that I would have a film I could be proud to say I watched several times growing up. But, yet again, I was denied

And because of that, I am giving this movie 4 out of a 5 possible turds. You stink Mac; you have nothing on E.T.

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