A spoof by definition is a mildly satirical mockery or parody; lampoon. Over the course of the next two months there will be a couple of horror movie spoofs that will be appearing on the big screen. Haunted House is a Wayans brothers movie that spoofs the popular Paranormal Activity movies among others. Scary Movie 5 also hits theaters soon and surprisingly enough is a spoof on the popular Paranormal Activity movies as well. Deja Vu? I found that one of the earliest horror movie spoof films was streaming on Netflix and I thought that I would behold where horror movie spoofs got their start. Thus brings me the reason for watching the film Saturday the 14th, an obvious take on the Friday the 13th series of films. If you need something to do while watching (because you sure won’t be laughing), follow along with our highlights of some of the more interesting aspects of the film.
Streaming on: Netflix
Directed by: Howard R. Cohen
Starring: Richard Benjamin, Paula Prentiss, Jeffrey Tambor, Rosemary De Camp
Tagline: Just when you thought it was safe to look at the calendar again.
A family inherits and moves into a new home that is also being sought after by Waldemar, a vampire, and his wife. Waldemar wants the house so that he can look for and find a magical book so that they can destroy it. Before they are able to do so, the family’s young son, Billy, finds the book and opens it, which in turn, unleashes a cast of monsters who are all also in pursuit of the book. A Swamp Creature, a mummy, a werewolf, an alien, and a couple of other creatures terrorize the family and their neighbors in search of the magical book. Enter the exterminator, Van Helsing, who learns that the book has been opened and it’s evil’s unleashed, stays with the family to help them fight together to protect what’s left of their neighborhood and home.
Things to look out for:
- Someone needs to hire a new animator. Badly animated bats get fried.
- Little Billy I think it’s time for a haircut, you look like a little girl.
- Who the hell actually names their dog Rover?
- Too bad the kid wasn’t looking at a porno magazine instead of a Book of Evil.
- What do you think? Really short shorts or incredibly long legs?
- Who would have thought that a Swamp Creature could be so polite?
- Damn Dad, got a case of the munchies or what?
- Hey, wasn’t that “eyed antennae” creature in Jabba’s lair?
- Stupid woman who doesn’t know the difference between an owl and a bat.
- An exterminator named Van Helsing, how convenient.
- One would think that seeing something in a fog would be a strength of a Swamp Creature.
- So is this movie supposed to be fun? I haven’t seen anything funny yet.
- Ironic product placeement – Count Chocula cereal.
- Oh my, she’s a grown woman and she’s gone and she soiled herself.
- How many walking Halloween costumes can one house hold? And did I just see a zipper on that one?
- I always knew that the epic battle between good and evil would end in a face-making noise fest.
- Zoiks! Here comes every Scooby Doo villian imaginable.
- Grocery boy must be jealous of the Swamp Monster. He’s already gotten to second base.
“Do you two have children?” – “As often as we can.”
“Remember when we went to Disney World and he hid inside Pluto for two hours?”
“I have bats in my belfry.”
“Selling the house now is like closing the barn door after the horses have eaten the children.”
“Potato chips and onion dip, is that what monsters eat?”
As with all spoof movies, this one does not take itself seriously. The overacting and the silly acting is definitely abundant. The monster costumes add to the cheesiness of the film. The best acting was surprisingly from the film’s youngest actors. The main disappointment with the film was that it just was not funny…at all. A joke that runs throughout the film is the stupidity of the parents John and Mary. And man are they dumb. This gets old pretty quick. Another poorly continued joke is the one where every channel of the TV plays the Twilight Zone. There was some surprisingly gory parts as well that threw me off when they appeared, a severed head, bloody gun fight with a cop, and eerie bat attack. If anyone were to like this movie for the purposes of entertainment would be a younger audience, simply because they won’t know any better. So as a whole, this movie is a real stinker, and wins itself 4 turds out of 5…it’s bad people, it’s bad.