Introducing: Grim (1995)

Grim Who doesn’t like a good monster movie every once in a while. It had been a while since I sat  down to a monster flick  that wasn’t a traditional zombie or ghost. While searching through the steaming library of Netflix, I ran upon a film what had the most interesting looking monster as it’s cover art. I noticed that it had a one star rating on Netflix and when searching for it in Rotten Tomatoes, it didn’t even have a rating from critics and only a 10% audience rating. With rating like those, that makes for an awful monster movie. So, I thought what the heck,what have I got to lose.

Streaming on: Netflix

Directed by: Paul Matthews

Starring: Emmanuel Xuereb (good luck pronouncing that one), Jack Chancer, David Kennedy, Tres Hanley

Rated: R

Tagline: This ain’t no fairytale

A group of spelunkers visit an old abandoned underground mine to see why there are cracks in the foundations of area homes. During their investigations of the mines, the visitors come in contact with a gigantic monster that seems to have been conjured up by a couple of the visitors during a seance at their home. The monster plays with and feeds on unsuspecting humans and keeps them locked up in cages. The monster has the ability to possess the minds of those that come in contact with it and has the uncanny propensity of walking through walls. One of the adventurers, Steve, mysteriously had a medallion that supposedly hurts the monster and he offers up his girlfriend as a sacrifice to the monster, known as Grim. During the attemptedsacrifice, the two “experts” of the group, find a way to destroy Grim by using light. This knowledge leads them to a plan that will hopefully stop the monster and get themselves out of the catacombs alive.

What you won’t want to miss:

  • Using a Ouija board to conjure up a monster or spirit means that the writers don’t want to explain where the monster comes from. Troupe alert!!
  • King Kong coming through the floor always brings an end to a séance
  • All the boys things she’s a spy, she’s got, Betty Davis eyes
  • Having problems with cracks in your foundation, join an amateur spelunking expedition. Hop they signed a liability waiver.
  • Music sounds like it came from a bargain bin 99 cent Halloween music CD.
  • Those exploding styrofoam walls sure make for great effects.
  • Watch out for the badly animated bats.
  • Red infrared sight is not the best for seeing in dark spaces.
  • Cue the upset female overacting.
  • Hey, even a monster has to kick back in the recliner too. It’s tough work…killing and eating people.
  • Hey Trish, nice of you to drop in.
  • Grim looks like nothing more than a person in a World of Warcraft orc suit.
  • I don’t suppose anyone has an explanation for the torches that are already lit. If there is no airflow, how can they stay lit?
  • And are those human sized cages on sale at just any hardware store or just those visited by man-eating trolls?
  • With teeth like those, why would a monster need a meat cleaver?
  • If you witnessed the butchering and beheading of people, you’d be  bat shit crazy too. “Here birdie, birdie.”
  • Skulls crack like ceramic masks.
  • Sunlight and bad special effects make a monster turn to stone.

Depressing Dialogue:

“Honey, what’s that disgusting smell?”

“This is spooky.” – “Oh come on, we did worse things when we were kids on Halloween.” – Giggle Giggle Giggle

“Sara, Sara, where’s my masccara Sara?”

“If anything happens, run like hell. Do you understand? Run like hell.

The Final Word:

Comments from people at IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes have crapped all over his film and going so far as to say that Grim is one of the worst movies ever made. This movie does indeed have it’s faults, but I don’t know that I would go quite that far, have any of these people not seen Mutant Hunt or Birdemic for that matter. Now, don’t get me wrong, this movie is nowhere near good. The acting is pretty bad and the soundtrack is just atrocious. The monster is somewhat interesting looking and the design probably would have been put to better use in another plot. And speaking of the plot, well, there wasn’t much of one. The story had several plot holes that were very distracting and disjointed. Where did the monster come from? Why does it choose to attack certain people? I could go in to more detail, but why should I, the movie itself didn’t. I’m giving this movie 4 turds, but only because it’s lucky that I’ve seen worse movies than Grim.

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