It’s not very often that I get really excited about seeing a movie in the theater – The Dark Knight Rising was high on my MUST SEE movies at the theater. This weekend, another just as anticipated movie is set to hit cinemas – Man of Steel. And boy am I excited. I was threatened by my girlfriend not to go see it without her, so in the meantime, I need something to get my Superhero fix. I turned to my old faithful Netflix subscription service to provide what I was looking for. Now, I could have easily chosen some of the proven winners such as Thor, Captain America, or Iron Man 2, but that would be too good just in case my anticipation of the new Superman film didn’t live up to my expectations. No, I decided to look for something that was bad so that I would not be underwhelmed by Zack Snyder’s latest film. And low and behold, I found a potential turd in the movie Super Capers.
Streaming on: Netflix
Directed by: Ray Griggs
Starring: Justin Whalin, Michael Rooker, Clint Howard, “Tiny” Lister, Adam West
Tagline: Fighting evil has never been funnier!
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 0% – Ouch!
Number of bad movie references to Great movies: 10 (And possibly more that I missed when I dosed off.)
Plot: Ed Grubberman wants desperately to become a superhero. So much so that he dons his own handmade cape and tries to fight crime out on the streets. As a result of being sued by one of the criminals he fights against, he is assigned by the local judge, to join a team of caped misfits who live in a halfway house for Superheroes. Ed gets himself in the middle of a criminal plot by the judge, who is a former superhero himself, and is framed for the theft of several gold buillion (bars). Through the powers of time travel and apparently stupidity, the team foils the plans of the criminal mastermind and uncover his secret plot.
If it sounds stupid, trust me, it is.
Important things to take away from this movie:
- Superhero movies just aren’t the same without that distinct flipping red Marvel rectangle or the folding DC logo.
- First indication that I’ve stumbled upon a bad move – Clint Howard.
- Corny cartoon sound effects are going to make for a long movie.
- Comic panel opening credit sequence that thinKs it’s extremely funny.
- Being Merle has made Michael Rooker so much cooler!
- Who knew this movie was going to be half live-action and half MAD magazine?
- Good to see Adam West still getting some use out of the old Batmobile.
- Where can I get me a Schwarzenagger robot?
- Inflatable chairs beware with Puffer Boy around.
- Cool looking Minotaur outfit.
- A homophobic joke and a Christian joke both within a minute of each other.
- Superheroes need to be careful when doing their own laundry so that their tights don’t shrink.
- Wow, that was probably the worst Shatner impression I think I’ve ever seen.
- Mannequins make pretty good speed bumps and they make squishing sounds.
- Robot pick up lines sometimes go unanswered.
- New white suit turns Grubberman into a pussy…cat.
- FBI or Men in Black? YEAH!!
- Dark Winged Vesper looks like a cross between Adam West’s Batman and Dracula.
- Will Powers plays Wack-A-Mole with Red. Don’t call him old.
- Why does a Superhero spoof keep referring to a science fiction movie?
- It looks like Michael Rooker is about to walk off the set at the stupid “Return of the Jedi” scene. – “This is ridiculous!” Hell I’d leave too.
- If you hit pause you might actually be able to tell that Arnie robot has a face.
- Cue god awful Back to the Future sound alike music. Alan Silvestri must be throwing up.
- Morbidly bad Marlon Brando impersonation
- Don’t we all need an “In case You’re Screwed” button?
- OMG! The Greatest American Hero theme! Easily the best way to end a terrible movie.
- What the Hell? Need a good Chili Pie recipe? Watch the credits.
Super Sayings and Dynamic Dialogue:
“I’m going to send you to a Superhero halfway house.”
“I was Manbat, would you like an autograph?”
“How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it.”
“SuperCapers, let’s rock!”
“I’m making a sound effect. No superhero can use his powers without a good sound effect in the background.”
“Do you always talk to yourself?” – “Ah crap, that was supposed to me my inside voice.”
“Great horny toads, it needs some adjusting.”
THE FINAL WORD:
Now, there are several movies that I loved growing up as a child and even those that I would say have had a big impact on my movie watching experiences and my in some way my childhood growing up. CRASH! I however do not feel the need to make a crappy movie and shove in corny and out of place references to these films to show my appreciation for them. That’s what this film has done. With references to respectable movies such as Star Wars, Back to the Future, James Bond, Star Trek, and others, SuperCapers ends up a jumbled and very unfunny superhero spoof that looks more like director Ray Griggs is making fun of the movies that influenced him rather than paying homage to them. Z ING! Why is it, the movies that are purposely trying to be funny end up being some of the dumbest? The actors try to make the dialogue sound funny and do a pretty good job with what they have been forced to work with. WHACK! And what spoof wouldn’t be complete without the occasional cameo from former Hollywood stars (Adam West, Clint Howard, June Lockhart) I use the term “stars” loosely of course. ZAP! Griggs even gives himself a role in the film. HONK! He should stick to directing, at least the direction of the film was done too terribly bad. But, I plead to all filmmakers out there who are wanting to make a film that is family friendly and supposedly funny. Please, please, please, for all that is good in the world, stop adding the cartoon sound effects to every little action. BOING! SPROING! THUD!! In describing this film, I’ll use one of the favorite sayings of hero Ed Grubberman, “Crap”. I’m giving this superhero spoof 3.5 out of 5 turds. SPLAT!
“Man of Steel” kicks ass by the way.