Just spent four weeks at summer camp to start my summer vacation and now with my tour of duty done (for now) I can catch up on some movies and the blog. I’m sure my couch has been missing my ass this whole time. So, what better way to start of my post summer camp movie viewing than watching movies about, well, summer camp. Growing up in the 80’s brought a plethora of camp movies from Meatballs to Friday the 13th. It was the Saturday night slasher films that have always been the most interesting and entertaining to me. And with that, I was excited to see a series of B-Movies camp slasher flicks, starting with Sleepaway Camp 2.
Streaming on: Netflix
Directed by: Michael A. Simpson
Starring: Renee Estevez, Pamela Springsteen (yes-Bruce’s sister), Brian Patrick Clarke, Walter Gotell
Tagline: When you go camping, just take the essentials.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 20%
Crazy Counselor’s Body Count: 18 and 1 implied
Camper turned serial killer in Sleepaway Camp, Angela Baker returns to a new camp only this time with a new identity and new position as counselor. Her goal is to make sure that the campers are following the rules and being nice and if they aren’t then she takes it upon herself to “send them home” or kill them one by one in interesting and macabre ways.
Important Things you can Learn:
- People with mullets always tell the best ghost stories around campfires.
- Be sure to pick Angela for the softball team, she’s got quite the swing.
- Boobs! Boobs! – Tit Patrol reporting for duty
- Camp is for early 20 year olds who get stoned and sleep naked.
- Blue Ribbon winning counselors are always the most chipper in the morning.
- Anybody think that names of the campers is a coincidence? Molly, Ally, Judd, Charlie, Sean, Emilio, Demi, etc
- Can you find the wet t-shirt winner?
- Getting high and drunk is likely to get you burned during camp.
- The loudest pantie raid ever. Nothing encourages bunk bonding than a pantie sort.
- Were there cordless drills in 1988?
- In the naval reserve! Ha Ha! Good one.
- Not sure exactly what the “feel the surprise in the box” game was for? I can’t imagine a bunch of high school graduates would be lining up for that one. Thank god for them that Justin Timberlake wasn’t there, we all know what he likes to put in a box.
- Polaroid Boobs!
- Turn that radio up. Hell yeah! The only black girl in camp likes her some 80’s hair metal. That’s her jam!
- A black Jason Vorhees and Freddy Krueger with a mullet. Yeah, I’d be scared.
- Wait blonds can’t read can they? Why does she keep looking at that note?
- Was that a leech or a turd on poor Ally’s face?
- Guitar strings are awfully tough on the throat.
- Apparently when a girl screams at camp, nobody seems to care.
- Dear Angela, would you please learn another verse to the song, Kum ba yah.
- Looks like Freddy Krueger got his face back.
- Tips for Kids #1: Battery acid kills if it comes in contact with your skin, so please be careful.
- Gotta love our justice system. Serial killer gets out after four years. She’s perfectly cured. After psychiatric treatment and electro therapy that is.
- Bravo for Anthony’s Ned Stark impression.
- Great, kill the only two kids who were of age to go to this summer camp.
- If the smoking doesn’t kill you, the crazy camp counselor will.
- Nice 80’s ballad as the credits roll.
“Screw you Angela, if you want to send me home, then fine, see if I care!”
“Nice girls don’t have to show it off.” – But it sure helps.
““Oooooohhhh, I’m a happy camper! I love the summer sun. I love the trees and forest; I’m always having fun!”
“Party hats at Two O’Clock.”
“Not tonight, I’ve got a date.” – “With who?” – “His left hand!”
“Keep your morals strong, and you will never be wrong.”
“Who locked the door? I’m gonna tell!”
“Molly, stop. I just want to be your friend!”
“Thanks for picking me up.” – “Heck, ain’t no skin off my tits. Besides, a girl like you shouldn’t be alone on this road.”
THE FINAL WORD:
Well, Sleepaway Camp 2 was not anywhere close to the first in this schlocky series of teenage/camp slasher movies. Probably the most notable changes between the two, for those who have seen the first, is that the main character is portrayed by a completely different actress which makes sense due to the “sexual reconfiguration” of the character. She also adds some attempted humor with some witty one-liners for each of her victims before she does them in. Regardless whoever the main character is, they won’t be in line for any type of thespian award anytime soon. As for the rest of the cast, it’s a B-Movie for god sakes, I don’t know what I’m expecting. The acting aside, unfortunately the plot of the film is not one of them. I was really, really bothered how the filmmakers tried to pass off it’s twenty something actors as young teens who would actually attend a summer camp of this caliber. Despite it’s bad acting and weak story, every horny heterosexual male will love the copious amounts of breasts being bared. During the first 2/3 of the film, there is hardly a five-minute period that goes by that isn’t broken up by a pair of “party hats”. In addition to the breasts, there are a couple of sex scenes as it would not be an 80’s slasher movie without one. While I could continue to mention the scenes that show plenty of skin, it behooves me to mention the best part of any teen killer flick – the over-the-top elimination of each character. This film has quite the murder menagerie which ranges from battery acid to the face and having a lobotomy via a drill bit to drowning in an outhouse toilet full of crap and leeches. And yes, there are the horror film staples, the throat slashing and the always popular decapitation.
While this slasher film isn’t anything like the Friday the 13th movie that it wants so desperately to be, it is mildly entertaining, if nothing else for the body count that is amassed throughout the film. I am giving Sleepaway Camp 2 a rating of three turds out of five, which is somewhere between being sliced by a chainsaw and burnt to a crisp on a barbecue.